Is there anybody out there....... - Page 3

emma_mcraf · 07-12-2023, 12:32 PM

My daughter has loved decorating in her house too. She has the little one she used to have in her bedroom in the hall and I treated her to a lovely new one for the living room.
She's been in her element and it's nice to see her excited about it all.

I only put the decs up for everyone else, so I understand Gordon. I love the lights and I'm not a Christian so the actual meaning of 'Christmas' is contrary to the nature/seasonal approach to life I have. For me I mark Yule and the solstice heralding the start of longer days again and just knowing the magic is already going on under the soil and the snowdrops will be up poking their heads out in a matter of weeks.
It is a time of year my youngest has never overly enjoyed and so we've kept it low-key for years and years. I do a nice family roast on the 24th and then it's basically a few days of slobbing in front of the tv and eating all the goodies. Two of the kids have their own homes and of the two left, one will be in and out as he'll be with his gf and her family and meeting mates for drinks and here, just coming and going, as will the two who don't live here. We very much made it clear that we have NO demands of our kids' time. There are no obligations upon them and they must live their own lives without feeling obligated to be here or there. After feeling that obligation and hating dragging the kids out when they were children, there was no way I was going to allow them to feel like we did. So it's a super-chilled time and basically the youngest will be gaming in his room and hubby and I will be napping on the sofa with the dogs!

I think it's a time of year that is really exciting when you have kids but I hold no store by the actual holiday, just a nice 4 day bank holiday to relax. It doesn't need to have sparkle, G. It can be whatever you want it to be. You also don't have to feel apologetic for not feeling the 'magic'. My daughter's friend doesn't bother putting up any decorations and her family don't exchange gifts because there's a social expectation of doing so. If they want something they buy it for themselves or for each other throughout the year. They take her dog for a nice walk and have a curry instead of a roast, enjoy the time off work and do whatever they fancy. Some people would call them Scrooges but they just don't see the point in feeling they must mark it because 'everyone' does. I say good for them. They're not harming anyone and it's no one else's business what they do anyway.
So you do it your way and don't feel bad for it. Remember those old special times before with fondness for loved ones no longer here and just go easy.

xxx

tortydat · 08-12-2023, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon

Well had an appointment well actually two appointments one Friday and one Monday to be told I was on the operation list for January but surprise surprise its been cancelled but I am on the top of the list.

We haven't even thought about putting up decorations yet and if it was down to me it wouldn't happen as I have lost my sparkle for Christmas due to loosing both my parents around Christmas time over the years and then me being ill and the prospect of two more operations I just don't have the same feelings for Christmas I'm afraid.

My eldest daughter however bought her Christmas tree for her new house over a month ago and it came out of the box and straight up bless her. It must be so exciting having your first Christmas in your first home together. It's been so long I can't remember

Bah Humbug you old misery cheer up and get that tinsel and baubles out! xx

07-12-2023, 12:32 PM	#21
emma_mcraf Senior Member Adult Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Devon Posts: 11,365	My daughter has loved decorating in her house too. She has the little one she used to have in her bedroom in the hall and I treated her to a lovely new one for the living room. She's been in her element and it's nice to see her excited about it all. I only put the decs up for everyone else, so I understand Gordon. I love the lights and I'm not a Christian so the actual meaning of 'Christmas' is contrary to the nature/seasonal approach to life I have. For me I mark Yule and the solstice heralding the start of longer days again and just knowing the magic is already going on under the soil and the snowdrops will be up poking their heads out in a matter of weeks. It is a time of year my youngest has never overly enjoyed and so we've kept it low-key for years and years. I do a nice family roast on the 24th and then it's basically a few days of slobbing in front of the tv and eating all the goodies. Two of the kids have their own homes and of the two left, one will be in and out as he'll be with his gf and her family and meeting mates for drinks and here, just coming and going, as will the two who don't live here. We very much made it clear that we have NO demands of our kids' time. There are no obligations upon them and they must live their own lives without feeling obligated to be here or there. After feeling that obligation and hating dragging the kids out when they were children, there was no way I was going to allow them to feel like we did. So it's a super-chilled time and basically the youngest will be gaming in his room and hubby and I will be napping on the sofa with the dogs! I think it's a time of year that is really exciting when you have kids but I hold no store by the actual holiday, just a nice 4 day bank holiday to relax. It doesn't need to have sparkle, G. It can be whatever you want it to be. You also don't have to feel apologetic for not feeling the 'magic'. My daughter's friend doesn't bother putting up any decorations and her family don't exchange gifts because there's a social expectation of doing so. If they want something they buy it for themselves or for each other throughout the year. They take her dog for a nice walk and have a curry instead of a roast, enjoy the time off work and do whatever they fancy. Some people would call them Scrooges but they just don't see the point in feeling they must mark it because 'everyone' does. I say good for them. They're not harming anyone and it's no one else's business what they do anyway. So you do it your way and don't feel bad for it. Remember those old special times before with fondness for loved ones no longer here and just go easy. xxx __________________ Emma Testudo Hermanni 5.12.2:Theo, Tamara, Tabitha, Harriet, Isabelle, Clara, Oscar, Hugo, Oliver, Florence, Arabella, Esmé, Aurelia, Felicia, Claudia, Atticus, Celestia, Amaris, Tristan and Clementine Budgies: Jasper, Ivo, Otis, Henry, Louie and Luca Doggies: 1.1.0 Chester and Lottie

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